Life is precious. Life is fragile. Life should not be taken for granted.

I've started this blog post more times than I can count. I feel like I have so many thoughts...too many thoughts to even make anything sound anywhere near coherent.

Life is precious. Life is fragile. Life should not be taken for granted.

I have two healthy, sweet, crazy, crying, beautiful, tantrum throwing girls. I've felt many emotions in the past three months. I've experienced exhaustion, joy, frustration, worry, fear, peace, love--unconditional love in ways I didn't know I could feel.

Life is precious. Life is fragile. Life should not be taken for granted.

April 18, 2010 a sweet little boy entered this world. His entrance, about three months early, came with compromising health. He was born to a family that loved him and an extended "family" that began praying for him, petitioning for his life from the moment he took his first breath. On April 27, 2010 (the same day my daughter turned three months) he took his last breath. This sweet little life brought at least 1,000 people in unity. I'm devastated by the loss of his life. I feel a bit guilty every time I get to hold my daughter. I'm grateful that I have the opportunity to soothe her cries. (The same cries that last week I thought were going to send me over the edge.)

During the time I spent praying for him, I came across "Healing is in your Hands" and I have to say these words of promise are exactly what I needed to hear.

No mountain, no valley, no gain or loss we know could keep us from Your love

No sickness, no secret, no chain is strong enough to keep us from Your love

How high, how wide No matter where I am, healing is in Your hands

How deep, How strong, And now by Your grace I stand, healing is in Your hands

Our present, our future, our past is in Your hands We're covered by Your blood

We're covered by Your blood

In all things, we know that we are more than conquerors you keep us by your love

In all things, we know that we are more than conquerors you keep us by your love

sAlthough God didn’t answer our prayers in the ways we hoped, I’m confident his life, although way too short, made an impact. His untimely death helped me realize the fragility of life. I don't want to take it for granted. I want to hold my girls. I want to kiss my husband. I want to feel the wind in my face. I want to share love, joy and tears with my friends and family.

Life is precious. Life is fragile. Life should not be taken for granted.

Hug the ones you love.

Precious Moments

My maternity leave is coming to a close faster than I can appreciate. In just two short weeks I'll be back at work. These pictures were taken from my phone camera so the quality isn't great, but this is what I will miss when I go back to work.

Emily gets into just about everything while I'm nursing. She's learned that there isn't much I can do when I'm sitting in "my spot" nursing Kinley. This particular moment made me laugh because she put a pair of my socks on and they were up past her calves, but by the time I got the picture they had fallen down quite a bit. She was dancing around singing, "I'm wearing mommy's socks, I'm wearing mommy's socks." It got a good chuckle out of me.
My view most mornings..... I try to load up the kiddos in the double stroller and go for a walk for at least an hour so Kinley gets an hour nap in during the morning. I look forward to when she can sit up in the stroller because I feel kinda funny pushing the princess around.
Do I need to add much to this picture caption? I live for these precious smiles. They make up for the hours of cries she gives me each day.

Emily-isms

Brian uses listerine religiously. I don't use it as often. Emily has apparently noticed this because when I used it the other morning she yells, "HEY! That's Daddy's drink!"

I walked into the living room this morning after changing Kinley's diaper. Emily was sitting in the spot I sit on the couch to nurse Kinley. Her shirt is up, her doll is on her belly and she says "time for the other side."

Whenever Emily sees a plane she'll either say, "Daddy, San Fa-crisco" (From Brian going on a business trip the weekend before Kinley was born) or "PAPA! nenaplolis (from my dad's recent trip to Indianapolis)

When Kinley is crying, "It's okay Kinley bear, it's okay."

When we go to a store and she sees clothes she'll pick them up and say, "Mommy this is pretty cute."

Her poor toys are very tired they're always being put to bed because they are tired. When she puts them down, she's often repeating what we say to her at night, "Sleep well honey, I love you." A lot of the time she'll even sing them "Jesus Loves Me" to calm them down.

If her toys aren't in bed they are in time out...they certainly misbehave a lot throughout the day.

Tantrum City

We have moved to Tantrum City. I will accept any housewarming gifts.

I am so tired. Kinley is not an easy baby (in my opinion). She grunts a lot, cries a lot and doesn't sleep enough (especially at night) so when tantrums from Emily come from nowhere it exhausts me.

Yesterday we went to the park with my family and friends and we had a great time. When we headed back to the car, Emily was walking with me just fine and then all of a sudden stops in her tracks and screams at the top of her lungs. I had Kinley wrapped around me so I can't carry Emily so my sister volunteers. She screamed all the way to the car. She screamed the entire time I was putting her in the car and half way home. It's in those moments that I feel like I don't know what I could have done to make any of it better. She doesn't use her words she just screams.

We have moved to Tantrum City.

Right now we are on time-out number three in 20 minutes. I am being tested to the nth degree and I am not a fan. This whole having a newborn and two year old is tough...

Easter in Pictures

Ready, Hike

First Easter Basket

Kinley's didn't fit in a basket...

So sweet---after naptime---wasn't quite awake

Oops, picked the wrong picture, but I don't have minutes to spare to fix it! ha! Here's my two girls on Easter (again, after naptime so Emily's clip is out)

Easter Egg Hunt at Grandma and Papa's house

Kinley got in on the action....(the purple egg next to her hand)

Reunited and it feels so good

Kinley's first visit to Disneyland---let the magic begin! (I think the magic started immediately because Kinley actually slept through the entire visit.)

Love them (Brian and Emily, not Chip and Dale)

Easter Egg Dippin' Treats