It may not come as a surprise

but I can be pretty emotional at times.  I used to think of it as a bad thing---I guess I still don't love to cry in front of others--it can be embarrassing, but I seem to cry most often in the midst of worship.  Last week while I was sitting in church, we were instructed to be seated.  While the next song began, I couldn't help but notice a lady get up from her seat, stand all alone, with her arms completed extended in the air.  I was sitting by people I didn't know---I am sure they thought that something was wrong with me because I was moved by this woman's actions.  I was fighting the tears back.  She didn't care what anyone else thought about her---it's funny---her actions actually took me to a deeper time of worship.  

I have had a rough week---and I know that I have a couple more rough weeks ahead.  The month of March is always busy for me, but this March----well, it seems like there is way too much more going on for me.  I am STRESSED!  No other word to describe what is going on.  Brian and I both have huge projects due for work on the 31st---we're moving the 29th---Emily isn't sleeping well--which means we aren't sleeping well---which might explain the above statement that I am emotional....

So, this morning, we sang "Blessed be Your Name."  For some reason, I got completely choked up when we got to the chorus---"Every blessing you pour out, I'll turn back to praise.  When the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say---Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your Name."  Have you ever felt like maybe you take for granted the blessings that God has poured out?  I think it is easier for me to remind him of the things he hasn't done for me than remembering the things he has done---why is that?  I don't know why my eyes were finally opened up to that this morning, but they were!  

The second time I lost it this morning, was during communion.  Matthew 11:28 was up on the screen, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."  Being that I wrote a blog this morning at 5 something complaining about being tired, I couldn't help but feel encouraged at that moment.   I can't explain it---but I know that God wanted to bless me this morning---and because of that---I am grateful.  I hope you can be encouraged too!

I just thought I would share...

I am not a morning person.  It isn't that I like to sleep in late, but I would like to sleep past 4.  My daughter loves the mornings.  She wakes us up every morning around 3---we give her her pacifier, which usually buys us time until a little after 4.  She will then sleep on an off for about an hour, but let's face it---once she makes that peep after 4, Brian and I are up.  I guess it isn't all bad, we do get some chores done---i.e.---laundry at 5---never thought I would be doing that.  Why is 4 so bad?  Well, I have to be at work at 7:00--if she slept until 5, I could deal, but at this point, I think I am running on fumes.  So, if you see me and I look like I just rolled out of bed---I did.

4 month check up

Brian and I took Emily in for her 4 month check up.  All is well.  She weighs 12 lbs. 13 oz (although she ate right before her visit, so she might actually be a little less) and she is 25 1/2 inches long.  She took the shots like a champ today---although her mommy was a little on the queasy side.  It just is not any fun to watch that happen!  We have swaddled our little girl since the day she was born and we were told today that it might be time to start letting go of the swaddle.  WHAT???  Is she really growing up?  

I guess we need to let go of the swaddle because she is forfeiting her naps during daycare this week---not good for poor Linda.  It breaks my heart to know that my kid is the one disrupting everyone's naps!  Oh, what to do!  I don't know how to make her sleep.  Linda thinks maybe she needs more food, but I don't think I can get anymore out!  She isn't upset when she gets up---she just wants to hang out.  Our doctor thinks she may have already learned the art of manipulation---GREAT! ! Brian and I are in for some fun!  He also thinks that it is all related to the teething process, we'll see.  Still no teeth!  

Speaking of forfeiting naps.  She just got 30 minutes in---decided she wanted to be awake, so I should go and make funny faces at her to make her smile. 

P.S....

There are 3 new picture posts--make sure you scroll down to see what Emily found yesterday

More pics...

Auntie Kristi, Emily and me

Cousins!  

Cute little birthday boy Tanner and Emily!

My baby in her robe...

I found my feet!

Heart Stealer

Okay, so to be totally cheesy--I was walking through Target the other day and I saw a home decor piece that read "a baby fills the place in your heart that you didn't know was empty."  Totally.

Grandma and Grandpa Johnson

Grandma and Grandpa Johnson came into town to see Emily in mid-February.  For those of you who don't know, Brian's family lives in Oregon (except for Holly who lives in Fullerton).  I used to get sad for Brian because I knew how hard it was for him to leave his family when he was moving to California before we got married.  Now, I get sad for Brian because we have Emily here and they don't get as much contact with her.  I guess it isn't all sadness, I feel bad too because it is probably 90% my "fault" that we live in California.  I could ramble on and on about this, so to save you from all of that---I just wanted to share that we did get to see them and they had such a good time getting to know Emily.  Emily can sometimes be a little "rude" around "new" people.  She is demonstrating that in the picture with Grandma Johnson!  However, by the end of their 4-day stay---she was loving them--especially since they were the ones with the bottles!  They offered to watch her 2 days while they were visiting and that was nice not to have to spend the money at daycare---not to mention the invaluable time they got to spend with Emily.  

like no other

I am tired.  There is absolutely no other way to describe how I feel.  All last week I was struggling with the craziest dizzy sensation I have ever experienced.  Perhaps it was my own fault for making a joke that I was pregnant on the blog---I felt pregnant all over again, but WAY worse.  It seemed as though I was on a treadmill/cruise ship/merry go round all at the same time.  I even had to leave work one day---praying that I would make it home safely.  I was scared to even hold Emily for fear of dropping her.  I started going to a chiropractor on Friday and slowly but surely I am finally feeling some relief.  

I never knew how exhausting it could be working full time and being a "full-time" mom after work.  It feels like it never ends and I know that this is just the beginning.  Emily still isn't sleeping through the night---or at least my definition of sleeping through the night.  She goes at least 5 hours, but often 6 hours and once and a while she will go 8 hours.  I literally have less than an hour in a day to do something for me---which usually means sitting on the couch with a bowl of ice cream....yeah, that will make the remaining prego pounds melt off!  ha!  

Okay, this may sound like a pity party post---it isn't meant to be.  It is meant for me to proclaim that in the midst of my extreme exhaustion, I am so in love with this little girl.  She has truly stolen my heart.  I can't go 5 minutes without thinking of her and getting some goofy little smirk on my face.  Her big open mouth smile brings so much joy, her funny little bubble/spitting makes me smile, her flailing arms and kicking legs make me chuckle and her too tired to do anything but lay on my chest makes me melt.  This love--it is like no other.