Emily is THREE!

It's December tomorrow and I just now have the time to write about my THREE year old's birthday party. We celebrated at Chuck E Cheese and she absolutely LOVED it. Poor thing cried so hard when her party was over and she had to go home. She loved almost everything about the day. She was very cautious around Chuck E, but other than that she was taking it all in. Dancing, smiling, playing, running, eating, catching tickets and more. It was such a great day! I love my girl.

This picture captures how she was at the party. So excited! I LOVE this.

Dancin' dancin' dancin'

I love her hands in this picture. I can't decide if she was having to hold them to keep her from digging in or thanking God for the sugar she was about to have. :)

Poor girl had to wait FOREVER to blow the candle out. They did all kinds of Chuck E introduction and dancing before they even put the candle on the cake. She did so great!

Safety goggles and special birthday hat to help catch tickets in the wind "tunnel"

Strugglin'

I have always been hard on myself and I have no idea where that comes from. I've compared myself to everyone and everything and I know it isn't healthy, but I do it anyway. I feel like I find myself striving for perfection and beat myself up when I don't achieve it. I want to be the best wife, the best mom, the best friend and I fall short.....a lot.

Living in South Orange County sure doesn't help matters. Now, I find I want the best house, the best car, the best clothes. It goes without saying that I fall short there too. I'm almost embarrassed to bring people to my house because it's just a bit smaller than most of my friends places. It doesn't have a front yard or back yard. Heck, it doesn't even have a porch! I get concerned about how other people will react if I ask them for dinner. Are they thinking in the back of their minds that my house is too small for them to entertain the thought of coming over? I can't host thanksgiving or Christmas unless we all eat in the garage. I feel like I'm somewhat lacking as a family member if I can't do that kind of thing for my family.

Don't even get me started on the scale. I don't know what is up with my body since having a second baby. I go way down on the scales and then it comes way up. So, then it starts the insecure cycle and I feel unattractive etc...

The other night we were at church and it came time for the communion meditation. The pastor asked if any of us were feeling lonely, broken, hurt, betrayed etc... he looked at the piece of bread that he had in his hand and reminded us that the bread was a symbol of the body of Christ. It was a reminder that He had been lonely, broken, hurt and betrayed. I've literally known that symbolization since I was a little kid, but for some reason that night it felt good to know that I am not alone.

So, I'm thankful for the grace and the peace that having a relationship with Jesus Christ offers. It doesn't mean there won't be days that I struggle. It just means that I have someone who understands me and loves me just the way I am. I don't have to be the perfect wife, mom, friend, employer etc...I just need to be me.

Writing Santa

We went to the mall this weekend and Emily saw the big mailbox to Santa and immediately sat down and started "writing" to him. When I asked her what she wanted for Christmas she said, "snow." Alright, Santa, you better not let her down.