Christmas Mental Memories

Okay, I can honestly say that I was not very good about getting the camera out at Christmas this year. I was caught up in family time and my gut reaction wasn't to grab the camera every time....hopefully I don't regret that someday, but here are some of my mental memories....

Skyping with Auntie Alyse, Uncle Robert and Grandma/Grandpa Johnson so that they could see Emily open their gifts. Technology is truly amazing. She was excited to see them and I'm pretty sure it was special for them to be able to see her too. She had so much fun running around the living room for them.

iChatting with Grandma and Grandpa Sewell because Emily wanted to see them. So, she showed them what Santa brought her---a new baby crib. She dropped the baby when "waking her up" and came running to me with the doll and asked for "tylenol in the mouth." She was obviously concerned that the baby was hurt.

Watching this girl open gifts was so fun. I really didn't think she would be as into it as she was. We had to let her open our gifts too to satisfy her need of opening more gifts!

Emily LOVED playing with her cousins Haley and Lexi. She followed them wherever they went. They played gator golf together, colored together, ate together, watched a Christmas show together, hugged each other, laughed with each other and even cried with each other....(you know, when one of them would "steal" something from the other or color on top of the other's picture or just plain old tired) It was fun to see how much they have all changed from our last Christmas gathering. Hard to believe we'll have another addition next year!

Last Disney Day

Last weekend was our last visit to Disneyland until Kinley is born. We don't plan to renew right away, but we do look forward to visiting Disneyland again. The hardest part about not renewing right now is how much Emily loves Disneyland. We had lots of rain last weekend, but we decided that if it cleared up enough we would run out there. Sure enough it stopped and although we were there for only a couple of hours, it was one of the BEST visits we have ever had. As soon as we walked into the park, Minnie was there to greet friends. Emily LOVES Minnie, but we didn't know how she would react because she was really bashful in line, but as soon as it was her turn....well, you can see for yourself...

Move on over Santa....

Make way for the Pacifier Fairy! I think I can count on two hands the amount of times that I have actually slept through the night in the past two years (longer if you count pregnancy). I will definitely say that Brian and I are at fault to a certain degree to how much we have babied Emily. We were so proud of ourselves for getting her off the pacifier except for naptime and bedtime WELL OVER a year ago.; however, we never really let her cry it out if it fell out in the middle of the night. As two full-time workers, we never really felt the desire to let her cry it out because we figured that meant more dramatic sleepless nights and we just never felt like it was that big of a deal. Well, I AM OVER IT. Since she is in the toddler bed we are getting even less sleep because if she loses the pacifier, she'll just walk into our room and turn the lights on. This is not working for this 32 week pregnant woman. I'm exhausted.

Last night we tried to get her to go to bed without the pacifier and she actually did really well, but she came into our room four times asking for it. We didn't let her have it, but she is resourceful and did find it on her own. So, this afternoon before naptime we took some time and made a box to send to the Pacifier Fairy. The fairy's desire is to collect pacifiers from all the big boys and girls and give them to the babies that cry. So, sure enough, the Pacifier Fairy came during Emily's nap. Here are pictures and videos of the big event...

My little nurturer

Emily has been very nurturing to her baby and other toys lately.  We'll often hear her say "it's okay" while both arms are wrapped tightly around one of her toys.  Last night, I walked into the room and I could see that she was rocking and as I listened closely, I heard her singing "Jesus, Kinley the Bible tells me so."  You see, not only do we sing Jesus Loves Me to her before she goes to bed, but we sing it to her whenever she is crying or in distress.  Apparently, Felipe (one of handy manny's toys) was crying and she needed to comfort him....

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Day was spent very different for me this year than in any year past. My parents and my sister and her family were basically all sick (not knowing exactly what it might be, but fevers were involved) and since I'm 7 months pregnant and I have a 2 year old, I didn't figure it was in my family's best interest to spend the day with my family.

(VERY hard decision to make...tears were shed)

So, what do you do if you can't spend the day with your family? You go over to your friends' home who are just like family! Emily LOVES her little boyfriend Oliver. We enjoy speculating what it would be like if they fell in love when they get older...

Here are a few pictures and a video of the day. Brian took Emily to the park and when she came home I was busy stirring the sweet potatoes for the casserole. Sure enough, she started shouting "Stir, stir!" Oliver assisted her by pulling a chair to the island and they both took turns stirring. Toward the end of dinner, someone put a napkin on Oliver's back and he became Superman, not to be outdone, Emily wanted one too and became Superwoman. In the video, the very first thing she says is "superwoman."

**I realize one of the pictures is super blurry, but you have to understand how much these kids love each other. They kept hugging one another---so quickly that all I got was a fuzzy picture!

My baby

I realized today just how thankful I am for my sweet family.  Emily had a tough time going down for a nap today, so I was rocking her and it was like Kinley was trying to calm her down too.  I just felt all of these arm extensions along my belly and was overcome with emotion.  There I was as a mommy of two (sorta).  

Then I realized how little I have blogged about Kinley and since the purpose of this blog is for me to have a journal keepsake, I figured I should update a blog about my baby.  

I'm frequently asked, "how are you doing/feeling?"  I don't know if it's just the obvious question to ask since I am "huge" or if people really do want to know, so here ya go....Overall, I feel pretty good.  With Emily I worked out like a champ EVERY day unless I was too sick to, but I would either go to the gym or take a nature walk.  With Kinley, my exercise is taking care of Emily or parking far away to walk to the store.  ha-ha.  Since the last weekend of October I have been in pretty steady discomfort in my thighs and back.  I didn't have this with Emily at all.  I talked with my doctor and he said it is very common in your 2nd pregnancy for your body to prepare early for labor.  He also gave me the news that unfortunately it won't get better.  I'm supposed to not lift Emily as often (you tell that to a tantrum throwing 2 year old) and take it easy (how exactly do you do that working full-time, 7 months pregnant while taking care of a two year old?)  My neck and shoulders are really feeling the weight as well and can cause some pretty good tension...Thankfully, that's it---that's all I really have to complain about.  

I still love being pregnant even though I think I could win a waddling competition in the pregnancy olympics.  It's amazing to feel this sweet little girl inside kicking and stretching and rolling.  I daydream about what it will be like to see her and see who she looks like.  I wonder if she'll look just like Emily or if she'll surprise us all and be completely different.  Emily had lots of hair and it was dark, will Kinley?  Will my little girls have a bond from the beginning? etc... 

Emily has been giving hugs and kisses to Kinley before going to bed and it's just so sweet.  

Kinley, you are such a little miracle to us.  I can't wait to snuggle with you.  

Precious moments..

I know I have blogged before about how special "night-night" time can be with Emily. She's been really good about going night-night ever since she was a baby. The process leading up to the "tuck in" has changed throughout the two years and I have to say that although I miss the snuggle time, singing and praying together has become more and more special.

Please don't judge me for seeing a pacifier in her mouth---I know she's getting older. She only "needs" it at bedtime and we're working on eliminating that too. Anyway, this is a very precious moment between the "three" of us since she demanded that we sing, "Yes, Jesus loves Kinley." Almost made me cry...

Happy Birthday Emily!!

My birthday was a week before Emily's. When a dessert was served to me with a candle in it, she was very concerned. She wasn't a big fan. Then, for her real birthday, a sundae was delivered to her and she was somewhat interested, but still didn't really want to blow it out. So, when she reacted this way at her party, I was elated. So cute!

Two years...

A little over two years ago I remember seeing this quote:

"A baby fills a place in your heart you never knew was empty."

I cannot begin to put into words just how true that statement is for me.  As most of you know, I never really dreamed about having a family.  In fact, the thought of it made me cringe.  I didn't have the natural feeling of wanting to be a mom....it wasn't a desire for me.  Obviously, God changed my heart in a major way and I am so grateful that I was open to the change and that God saw me "fit" to be a mother. 

The past two years have been the most challenging and rewarding two years of my life.  I have experienced joy in ways I can't even put into words.  From watching her sleep, eating solid foods, crawling, standing up, walking, talking, singing, praying to experiencing life through her eyes (fireworks, aquariums, rides, bejeweled etc...) it's been amazing.  However, the discipline part is the challenging part.  The more she grows and matures, the more she becomes even more independent.  We're having to learn a lot about each other.  Sometimes we have great moments, sometimes we don't have such great moments, but it's a work in progress. 

My heart is so full of love for this little girl.  Emily...I love you so very much.

Doctor Johnson---Halloween

We had such a great Halloween day. Brian and I met up with my parents in the morning and visited the local mall for some trick or treating. Emily was a little nervous at first, but once she got the hang of it, she was all over it.

Emily would get her treats and after just about every stop, she would set her pumpkin down on the ground and check out what she just got. (She doesn't eat candy---she has NO idea what all of these packages are, but she was still very interested in holding them.)

We met up with all of the family on Halloween Night for some neighborhood trick or treating. Here is Emily with Grandma and Grandpa (or me-maw and pa-pa---she just changed their names). She was not a big fan of their costumes at the beginning, but this was taken closer to the end of the evening and she was okay with the costumes.

Getting more goodies...

These pumpkins are on the lawn I used to call my own. It was very strange walking up the stairs that lead to the door to knock and trick or treat with my almost 2 year old. It brought up more emotions than I would have expected...

Haley showing Emily the trick or treating ropes...

24 weeks and a toddler bed

Emily was teething a couple weeks ago and she was not sleeping at all, so we decided instead of waiting until her birthday to give her the bed we would give it to her that weekend. Kinley and Emily will share their room so we left the crib in the room. When it came time for "night-night" time she was VERY disturbed that we were not putting her in the crib. Although we had a very rough night the first night (mostly teething related if you ask me) she has done really well. She has yet to realize she can actually get out on her own and open the door which is a major blessing to me and my need of sleep.

We always put her down with her blanket, but she tends to take it off almost immediately in the night.

Such a big girl!!!

I love you, Kinley

Emily was super snuggly with me and Brian last night.  She has said "I love you" for quite awhile now, but it's typically said at night after we have put her in bed and are about to close the door.  We always say "I love you Emily" and she responds with "I love you."  Well, yesterday afternoon and evening Emily was telling us she loved us constantly and would even follow it up with a hug.  She'll say "hold you" when she wants us to hold her or she'll say, "hugs" when she wants a hug.  She did plenty of that last night too. 

Brian and I share the responsibility of putting Emily to bed....we split it up every other night so that she doesn't expect us both to be there every night.  We each have our own routines with her.  My routine lately has been centered around singing songs and talking to the "baby in mommy's belly."  She still doesn't quite understand the idea that there is an actual baby in my belly, but she's definitely noticing that my stomach is getting bigger.  This past week I've had to put Emily down more often because of Brian's schedule so we've had a lot of tummy time together.  She pats it every night and even says, "hi baby!"  

Last night after our song and prayer time Emily gave me a big hug and told me she loved me.  I told her that I loved her back.  I asked her if she loved "baby" and she said yes.  I asked her if she would tell the baby that she loved her.  (It was at that moment that I just about lost it.)  Emily put her tiny, sweet hands on my belly, leaned in and said, "I love you, Kinley."  

My little singer

It has been SO much fun hearing Emily's sweet little voice in conversation.  I am blown away with what she understands in conversation.  She is such a little sponge and retains so many words it's truly fascinating.  She's recognizing letters (although she is most comfortable with the letter O and she finds it everywhere).  She's trying hard to count (her favorite number is 2). My personal new personal favorite is her SINGING voice!  We have been listening to the same CD's for so long now, but she's finally singing along with them!  Her two favorites right now are Old MacDonald and John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.  JJJS cracks me up because not only does she try saying the words she also focuses on the whispering and shouting parts.  I LOVE IT!  

At night before I lay her down she requests that I sing her a song.  Lately her request has been "Jeeshus" which means Jesus Loves Me.  Oh man, it warms my heart.  

Okay, gotta go, she just said, "bath" and took off to the bathroom and turned the lights on---oh dear, now I hear all kinds of thuds.....

Photos in review...

So, Emily got her fourth stomach virus in the middle of September. We had NO idea the flu was coming....if we did, I can assure you she wouldn't have had the chocolate chip cookie earlier that day! That's part of the lack of blogging. She was sick for three days and then the following weekend I got the same thing with a bronchitis bonus. Boo.
Auntie Alyse was just in town and was SO generous with her belongings with Emily. In the picture above, Emily is holding Alyse's camera and taking a picture of her baby. She says "Cheese" when she has the camera in her hand.
The camera also has an easy playback viewing of any pictures and video. Here is Emily viewing various videos that Auntie took throughout the weekend.
We all went to the pumpkin patch Saturday night. It was past Emily's bedtime when we got there so it wasn't the best experience, but I was very pleased we did get a family photo. Check out that huge stomach of mine! (The night before this photo was taken a man asked me when I was due, when I told him I had 4 months left, he was shocked he said I look like I would be due next month---as if I didn't feel huge already!)
Our little blue girl....the florescent lights were directly over the pile of pumpkins that Emily was checking out. I just love her sweet smile here...

20 week baby bump

Emily.......are you having a brother or sister?

The Merry-Go-Round

She used to hate this...but all of a sudden she can't get enough. We were at Fashion Island the other day and was very upset that she couldn't ride it.....why would we pay $2 when we can get it for free at D-land :)

Finding Thankfulness in the Stomach Flu

My sweet Emily is sick.  She was filled with personality yesterday with a few tantrums (really nothing different than most days---she loves her tantrums).  We went to church and on the way home she cried the entire way.  Not completely unusual there either....since it was past her bedtime.  We got home and put her to bed still acting very normal.  She began to whimper a lot---not usual.  I went in there and she pointed at her rocking chair and said, "chair."  I asked her if she wanted me to rock her and she said yes.  She fell asleep, I put her back in her bed and she began whimpering almost as soon as I put her down.  I felt good in that moment because I thought that she just needed her mommy.  Turns out she needed me, but not in the way I thought.  We had a very rough night. 

Let's just say I did seven loads of laundry---I'm sure you can put two and two together. Brian and I didn't sleep.  After every incident she wanted to watch a little show.  We would let her watch some and fastforward through it as well.  She also cried out for "Agua" frequently.  Since this is her 4th time with the stomach flu we have learned that she really needs it in small increments---so when we told her no to her request for more we had a whole other saga going on. 

So, where does the thankfulness come in?  My child is relatively healthy on a regular basis.  It really hurts me to see her so broken, so sick, but I know there is an end in sight.  I just can't imagine what it must be like for some of these other moms that spend so much time in the hospital because of their children being so ill.  I appreciate their strength.  I admire their courage and I hope their children know just how wonderfully loved they are.

The art of losing myself

So, I was having a discussion about my love for the song "From the Inside Out" from Hillsong the other day.  Ever since then I haven't been able to get the song out of my head.  When I attended FCCHB I had the opportunity to help lead the congregation in this song and so I know the words, I know the melody.  I've been hearing it in my head since our conversation, but today, I had the song playing and it totally hit me like a ton of bricks.  You know how they say when you read the Bible you get something different out of it every time, well this song has also been that for me.  

When we started trying to get pregnant with this pregnancy, I was consumed with the fact that it was totally out of my control.  It was out of my control with Emily, it was out of my control this time.  I kept hearing over and over, "My heart and my soul, I give you control, consume me from the inside out.  Let justice and praise become my embrace to love you from the inside out."  Getting pregnant is supposed to be joyful, but for me it becomes a time of worry and fear and my least favorite....waiting.  It's so hard to wait.  God really held a mirror up to my face and said---give ME the control.  Through tears....I did just that.  Now, I'm pregnant and I know how huge of a blessing and gift it is from Him.  

I've got a lot on my mind again and WHAM....this hit me  "Your will above all else, my purpose remains.  The art of losing myself in bringing you praise.  Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades.  Never Ending, your glory goes beyond all fame."  

I have a decent prayer life.  I like to think that I have a lot of conversations with God throughout the day.  I pray for my family, my friends, my kid(s) and myself.  I think I need to be more intentional about praying for God's will in every aspect of life.  So, I guess I'm going to have to start losing more of myself.  I don't want it to just be an art, but a masterpiece. 

Updating the ol' blog with pictures

These are all very random photos from several different days over the past month.  I haven't had the energy or the time to update the blog as often as I would like, but decided I should do it sooner than later or I will be very backed up! 

We took Emily to the Aquarium and they have a place you can feed nectar to birds.  Emily was very interested in watching them drink the nectar.  Brian wasn't a huge fan.  

Bad picture from this "photographer" but that is  Sting Ray that Emily is watching swim around.

Auntie Tabatha was here for 5 days and we had SUCH A GREAT TIME!  Emily and Tabatha were looking for seals.  Tabatha is laughing here because as the Seal swam by, Emily was yelling, "HI!!!"

Said Seal...

Tabatha is very particular about pillows.  We brought all that we could find in our house for her to decide between.  I just had to take a picture. 

Grandma and Grandpa met us for an impromptu lunch the other day and Grandpa took Emily  on the carousel.  Emily loved it and loved riding with Granpapa (we call him Grandpa, but she has added an extra pa at the end.)

Joe/Alisha/Oliver joined us for a day of Disney yesterday.  These kids LOVE each other.  They have so much fun together.  Here they are meeting with Minnie. 

I was trying to get a decent picture of Emily up in the ferris wheel, but this is all I got because she made me laugh.  She was eating, although her hand is in her mouth she was saying, "CHEESE."  

Told you these kids love each other.  We were riding It's a Small World and she had to turn around and see him.  They are so cute saying each other's name to get their attention.  Just adorable!

Emily got in the LEGO box and Brian had to make a game out of it.  So, of course, I wanted a picture. 

After Emily's bath, she came to her drawer of books, picked one up, took it to her chair and started to read.  

I can't believe we didn't take many pictures of our Sea World adventure.  I guess I was just way too hot and uncomfortable to think about pictures, but this one made me laugh.  This is her new facial expression.  Thought it was cute.  

Perhaps I should

be worried that is....(previous post)

We got our first "Emily was a naughty girl" at daycare report.  Apparently, she was pulling kid's shirts when she wasn't getting her way and trying to steal their toys.  Super.  

Should I be worried??

These pictures are from June and I just found them on my camera! I chuckled when I saw them I had to share. Emily and Oliver are such good friends. We went to Sea World together and they enjoyed seeing all of the exhibits together, but when we got to the Bay of Play it was a whole other story. They were wrestling! Hilarious to watch so I had to capture some pictures. Apparently, my little girl is a tough chick. ha-ha!

Emotions

I realize that emotions aren't exactly "normal" for me these days. I can experience them all at such different extremes.....not in the bi-polar kind of ways...I just mean I know what happiness/giddiness and sadness feel like.

I can't always wrap my head around the idea of emotions. I mean, I get the happy times. It's easy to feel happy from eating your favorite snack (can you tell I'm pregnant) to hearing the sound of your child laughing or better yet the "Amen" after a prayer or the "I love you" right before you leave each other for the evening. Those emotions need no explanation.

I'm sure it's going to sound a bit strange....I mean, I have "everything" but sometimes I feel abandoned and alone. Last week I dealt with abandonment....not being good enough for people to love me or appreciate me. I get the whole "Jesus" answer. I completely get that in the midst of that kind of loneliness He is right alongside me, but I just don't know why I have to go there....why do I even enter that valley?

I think sometimes....our culture stinks. If we're not funny enough, pretty enough, free enough etc...we aren't worthy of love and acceptance. I'm really trying to focus on the truth that God loves us the way we are and letting that be enough.

Growing up!

My little girl is growing up in so many ways. Some of them aren't so fun for mom and dad because it means testing boundaries. From birth, Emily has been a very strong willed child, so as she gets closer to two we're going through a lot of challenges, but together we're building communication and finding discipline strategies that work......

Now, there are some growth changes that make us smile. We have a picture of Emily with Santa for Christmas 2008 with her mouth wide open in a screaming fit and a picture with the Easter Bunny 2009 with a slightly less open mouth, but still a screaming fit. So, you can imagine our giddiness when Emily practically jumped out of Brian's arms at California Adventure to meet two of her favorite Mickey Mouse Clubhouse stars. She didn't want to leave them.

The last two pictures are from Brian's birthday and she LOVED watching the parade. The last parade she saw was when she was an infant, so this was much more fun. We got to hear her sweet little giggle, hear her recognize characters and of course point, point, point!