I can't always wrap my head around the idea of emotions. I mean, I get the happy times. It's easy to feel happy from eating your favorite snack (can you tell I'm pregnant) to hearing the sound of your child laughing or better yet the "Amen" after a prayer or the "I love you" right before you leave each other for the evening. Those emotions need no explanation.
I'm sure it's going to sound a bit strange....I mean, I have "everything" but sometimes I feel abandoned and alone. Last week I dealt with abandonment....not being good enough for people to love me or appreciate me. I get the whole "Jesus" answer. I completely get that in the midst of that kind of loneliness He is right alongside me, but I just don't know why I have to go there....why do I even enter that valley?
I think sometimes....our culture stinks. If we're not funny enough, pretty enough, free enough etc...we aren't worthy of love and acceptance. I'm really trying to focus on the truth that God loves us the way we are and letting that be enough.
6 comments:
I understand I've feel that way too. Just as a reminder I don't care how you act, or what you look like, or if you are not "enough" of something...I still love you. I personally feel very blessed that I get to live near you guys to spend time with people I love. Also to hang out with a couple that Cory and I can seek advice and help from and more important we get encouragement from you guys. So thanks!
Oh, man, missy, I hope your pendulum swings up soon. I have a friend who moved from OR to So. Cal. and she has shared what a challenge it has been living in the culture down there that is SO focused on appearance and lifestyle and keeping up with the best of the best. I pray you'll feel strong in yourself and not let that negative pressure overtake what you know in your heart to be true about your value, worth, humor, beauty, talent and grace. Chin up, young person!
You are beautiful, I love you, and I love spending time with you. I, too, hope you rise out of that valley. Have a great weekend with Tabatha!
I really admire your honesty in this post. I can also say that I have the same feelings sometimes. You are not alone.
Thanks for sharing this.
i love reading "you" jenn...your ideas, your random thoughts, your life perspective, your mommy moments, etc...because in reading them, i feel normal. thank you for expressing yourself, in ways that i cannot verbalize at times. i too am learning a HUGE lesson of faith & trust through the loneliness of a being away from family, friends & the only state i've ever called home. i'm learning that making friends & connections doesn't come as easy as i thought it used to. and that going through all of this in my 8-9 mos. doesn't help. God, Mike & Ella ~ they are how i am making it through this time....and phone calls from friends back home :)
yep... love the authenticity in this post. and the comment of "not in a bipolar kind of way" had me laughing. thanks for being real.
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