Zoo time!!!

I woke up with the crazy idea of going to the zoo today.  I guess it wasn't that crazy of an idea, lots of people have been talking about zoos around me, so I guess it has been in my head.  Anyway, my mom and my crazy nieces joined in the fun.  Haley and Lexi love little "Em Ems" as they call her.  I can't even begin to tell you how many times, "Haley, please don't pick her up" comes out of my mouth.  She just wants to love on her ALL of the time.  Besides giving me a heart attack, it is really quite sweet.  

Arriving at the zoo---exhibit A of Haley trying to pick Emily up.  Even though we came from completely opposite directions, we arrived at the same time.  My mom and the girls were so surprised to look up and see us parked right next to them.  

We ate our lunch right next to the park.  Haley and Lexi couldn't wait to get on the playground, so they ate pretty quickly to head over there....Emily was a bit slower, but once she was on the playground....Haley was super excited to play with her.  She couldn't resist going down the slide with her and I couldn't resist getting a picture!

If you read my blog very regularly, you know that Emily is quite the explorer....well, today, she didn't know what she wanted.  Brian would hold her, she would cry.  We let her walk, she would cry.  We put her in her stroller with snacks galore, she would cry.  I would hold her, she would cry.  Grandma held her---AHHHH, NO CRYING!  My poor mom carried her all over the park.  I tried to relieve her, but she quickly stuck her arms out to be held by ga-ma-ma.  

Here piggy, piggy!

Haley and Lexi fed the animals in the farm.  We tried to get Emily to feed them, but she was too scared.  She got pretty close, so it won't be too far off. 

Haley, Lexi and I walked through a maze to find the Jaguar.  No Jaguar, but we made it through.  This picture was taken inside the maze. I can't help but see a lot of what my sister and I looked liked as kids in this picture.  

salt, poop....WHAT???

Brian, Emily and I headed over to our friends house last night for dinner.  They don't have kids just yet, but they were so good with Emily.  Again, Emily LOVES to explore and so she made herself at home next to their pantry.  We were sitting around the table eating dessert when Brian takes a quick peek over in Emily's direction.  His exact words, "You did not just do that!"  I was nervous, did she just open the salt and poor it everywhere, did she smear her poop on the walls?  what, what was it?  I peek around the corner and see our little girl stacking their pantry items.  She has not done this at home....maybe a lego on top of another, but certainly not anything tall.  She did this all on her own.  I was so excited, I grabbed my camera for some quick shots.  

Uh-Oh (not just Emily's favorite "word")

We had a different kind of experience at Disneyland yesterday.  Emily is quite the explorer nowadays.  She doesn't enjoy sitting in her stroller much anymore.  She just wants to walk and touch and examine EVERYTHING.  She doesn't understand why when we are in line for a ride we do so much standing.  We were next in line for Pirates of the Caribbean, Emily reached up for the wood rail and missed it.  She fell. Screaming was involved.  I held her and tried to comfort her.  It's so dark in there, I couldn't really tell what had happened.  We sat in the boat, I looked down at her face and there it was.  Blood.  She was bleeding.  Her first official bloody owie (however you spell that).  We took the boat ride because it appeared the bleeding had stopped.  I cleaned her up after the ride.  I noticed that her lip was swelling pretty bad.  I looked throughout her diaper bag and couldn't find the tylenol I thought I had.  I had the idea of going to first aid to see if we can buy some. 

We get to first aid and they tell us that they didn't have tylenol for her age, but that we could buy it in the marketplace.  They asked me why I needed it and I told them my little story.  They rushed to get some ice for her and she smiled but didn't want them to touch her with it.  (they also told me tylenol wouldn't have done diddly squat.) They were a little "worried" about how swollen it was too so they asked us if she would take a popsicle....not ever giving her a popsicle before I wasn't sure how she would do, but the pictures below will give you a look at how it all went down.... 

Outside of first aid...she finally started holding the ice, too bad she was icing her cheek and not her lip.  This picture doesn't do it justice, but she was holding it all by herself.  

The first popsicle experience (please notice the nurse-minnie sticker the nurses in first aid gave her.)

My giggling equestrian

   

Love...

Love....

It's one of those emotions that is so complex it's truly hard for me to wrap my head around it.  We use the word to describe food..."I love ice cream" to describe affection toward others... "I love my daughter."  I realize that there are different kinds of love, but it is something I have had difficulty with for as long as I can remember. 

I have struggled with the lies that I am unlovable for many years.  It all started when I was a little heavier than I had wanted to be in junior high and high school.  Kids are stupid....One boy kept telling me that Jenny was looking for me.  He just kept repeating it over and over until I finally said, "who is Jenny?"  His answer...."Jenny Craig"  I was so hurt.  I have battled with my weight ever since.  All because of one thoughtless comment from a 12 year old. I feel like I never like what I see in the mirror.  

Maybe it is being the "baby" in the family that has aided in my hunger for attention.  I don't know if I show that or not.  I know I can be loud sometimes, but I think a lot of times, I just sit back and observe other people.  (That's the psychology gal in me, I can sit and watch people interact with each other for hours.) 

Relationships are probably the most important part of my being.  I NEED them.  I hunger for people to call me, email me etc...When Emily says "ma-ma" it is the most satisfying word.  She needs me, she wants me.  It's in that moment, that I realize she needs attention too.  She's in this habit now of sitting in our laps---it's adorable.  It's also then that I realize she needs affection....she needs love.  

Love....

It's what the world needs.  I am just one person so desperate for love, for affection, for fellowship with other people.  I think God created that need in me and I don't think I am alone.  We all hurt in some way or another and we need one another.  

I know I fall short in showing love to my family let alone to strangers.....but it is my quest to show people God's love.  His love isn't restricting.  He doesn't care if I am skinny or fat, pretty or ugly, rich or poor, loved or unloved----He loves me for me.  Shouldn't we love people the same way? 

Weekend festivities

Yay for Videos!  These are from the past weekend. There are 4 separate segments.....It's still only a little over a minute though...

Cabin fever from rainy days inspired the first clip....

We went to the park when the rain lifted for a few hours with Emily's friend Hailey...

Tanner's birthday party at Gymboree are the last two clips.  My camera died there so I never got a picture of the birthday boy and Emily together.  Emily also wasn't into all of the group games that they planned....I think she was a little too young and a little too shy!  So, we spent a lot of time climbing.  Anyway....enjoy!

My latest obsession

COLDPLAY

Little reminders

I have always wanted a little sister or brother.  I am not sure why.  Maybe it is because I didn't want to be the only one bullied by an older sibling.  (example: I was probably 5 years old when my sister and I heard a siren, Kristi starts screaming, "THEY'RE COMING FOR YOU!! PACK A SUITCASE!!" So, I quickly packed a bag and promptly slid underneath the bed to hide from the police.)

In college, I became very close to an "underclassman" named Courtney.  She and I were both part of a singing group that went out recruiting more people to the university.  It didn't take very much time for her to start calling me "big sis."  Although she had no idea, she paid me one of the greatest compliments.  Courtney LOVED rainbows.  It was about that time that the rainbow symbol became the major "label" for a gay person.  Rainbow stickers were EVERYWHERE.  She would always see one and say something about God's promise for his people.  She was very conscious to remind us of God's promises, grace and mercy.  She designed and got an adorable tattoo of a rainbow with a cross peaking out behind it.  

December 22, 2001 was one of the darkest days of my life.  I got a call that Courtney was killed in a car accident.  I didn't just lose a friend, I lost my little sister.  About a week later, we were in Oregon for her funeral.  It was pouring rain....why wouldn't it be?  It was Oregon after all :) As soon as the service was complete, we heard a male voice hurrying us all to come outside.  We stepped outside and saw the most magnificent rainbow that I have EVER seen.  It went directly from one side of the church to the other.  It was so bright, so clear that there was another rainbow in reflection of the main one.  

Today, I looked out my window at work and saw a beautiful rainbow.  God is so faithful.  I'm thankful for Courtney's passion about rainbows because I couldn't help but smile and thank God for what he has done for me.  

Pardon the poor quality of the picture.  I took it with my camera phone because my camera was at home for the first time in I don't know how long!  Look closely, you'll see two rainbows.  Also, please note that it is the STUDENT lot that I am standing in.  Sheesh!  Expensive cars!!

sigh of relief

The past 24 hours have been extremely nerve-wracking for me.  Budget cuts came and went at Brian's company.  we are fortunate enough to say that we were not affected by this wave of cuts.  As Brian says---it is a very dark day for his company because they have NEVER had to do cuts.  It took them three months to prepare for this day and sadly 150 families in Orange County are affected tonight.  I am certainly feeling a sigh of relief, but I am so sad for these families.  Thank you to those of you that I called or texted in a panic requesting prayer.  If I didn't contact you, it wasn't personal.....I just couldn't think straight!

Dancing at half-time

Emily was super sick this week with a nasty ear infection and cold.  She stayed home three days from daycare, which meant Brian and I got to have a lot of one on one time with her.  We both got sick.  So, this weekend, we tried to take it as easy as we could so that we could all rest and heal before this crazy week! (Spring semester starts for the students today---and Brian thinks things "might go down" at work this week---ugh) So, to lighten our load....Emily decided to dance for us during half time....after attempting the 3D commercials..notice the glasses in hand.  Here is my dancin' fool!